Ay Dios Mio...

The Real Housewives of Miami ended it's short six episode run last night, never to return. Thank God. However, one amazing jewel that sparkled through the sand and beach trash was Elsa Patton, the mother to Marisol, one of the key housewives in the series. She's clairvoyant, cutting, hilarious, boozy, brutally honest and could be mistaken for a face transplant recipient. I love her.

In some odd way, Elsa reminds me of my mother Anita, also Cuban, laid back, and on occasion, humorous in her own way. As someone who spoke English as a second language, she shied away from friendships, but seemed to come alive when she found someone who spoke Spanish - especially Cuban - so she could share common ground.

Although not much of a drinker like Elsa, I envision my mother sipping a rare Whiskey Sour, trading salty barbs with Patton, laughing shamefully at something naughty the matriarch of Cuban drinkery drunkenly slurs out. Looking deep into her soul, Elsa would dig out my mother's first marriage and battles within her second with my dad. If only she could have warned her about her heart problems...

The Real Housewives of Miami wasn't a good series. The ladies were rather boring, the drama painfully and obviously manufactured to fit the mold of the "Housewives" formula. But Elsa was a diamond.


UPDATE: Bravo has dragged this back from the dead! Or maybe it was never really dead, but in a coma?  The Real Housewives of Miami will return. 

Colbert-Fallon: BFFSM

Donate to Donor's Choice. All proceeds go to helping students in need. Go to: http://www.donorschoose.org/fallon-colbert-project and give so $26,000 is raised and Stephen can sing Rebecca Black's dumb, yet important "Friday" song.

Lamp. I Love Lamp.

The reunion of Ron and Brick.

Goodnight, Lake Wobegon

Garrison Keillor is retiring.

A memory:

Nothing says 'Happy Thanksgiving' then spending post dinner with your Garrison Keillor fan father settling in to watch a Netflix copy of Altman's A Prairie Home Companion. Me - indifferent. My Dad - totally psyched. Then it starts. I spent the first 30 minutes of this film trying not to look confused...for my dad, figuring he was silently enjoying it. All I could think of was how much shite you can shovel into a script. Oh, the talking. Very little on stage performance. And then more talking. At minute 35 my father turns to me and says..."Shut if Off. Let's watch the dog show."

So, thank you Garrison - for giving me an awkward A Prairie Home Companion moment with my Dad. And that's a good thing, because the dog show was fun.

Jon Cryer is a Troll. No. Really. He Is.

Colbert Goes Jewish

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Stephen Gives up Catholicism for Lent
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive

Zach Galifianakis Back on SNL

Zach is back as host of Saturday Night Live this weekend. Here's the hilarious promo.

Pilot Season

Pilot season is underway, and casting/pilot announcements are multiplying like horny rabbits. It would be terrific if my brain power could stretch across my day job work and this blog to capture and report all the goings on, but unfortunately, I don't have the time to work out cast additions and pilots ordered. The news changes too fast for me to harness, despite the fact this info enhances the television research work I round up for a paycheck.

So, I'm posting links to two entertainment sites that provide a daily ticker on casting and production updates. I guess this is for my own reference, but it's a good source for anyone visiting this blog who doesn't hang out at entertainment trade sites and likes to see who's landed where during this interesting time of year.

Deadline Hollywood Daily posts it's "Pilot Panic" page, listing lots of great updates. http://www.deadline.com/category/primetime-pilot-panic/

Hollywood Reporter also has a dedicate page showing the latest pilot news. http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/topic/tv-pilots-163962

'Office' Marathon Tonight

As the Twitterverse has claimed via the feeds of Mindy Kaling and Brian Baumgartner, this was Steve Carell's final week on set of The Office. It's all so sad, yet befitting of a dedicated comedian and actor who knows when it's time to bow out.

In honor of Steve's several years of giving the world so many laughs and memories, NBC will be broadcasting a marathon of The Office starting at 8pm et. For the line up of shows, go to OfficeTally.com - the place to be for all things Office.

Thank you, Steve Carell. See you in the movies.

Funny Ladies of TV Take On Austin

Poster photo by Robyn Von Swank

I became a fan of Rachael Harris when she starred in the Kirstie Alley venture Fat Actress on Showtime back in 2005. The program itself was overwrought with Alley's over-the-top craziness, but Harris, who played Kevyn, the star's personal hairdresser and makeup artist alongside the funny Bryan Callen as Eddie, the live-in PA, were both so hilarious working off each other, it would have been fun to see them spin off into their own series. (They could be Kristie's assistants, but we never see her - like we never see adults in Peanuts specials but we hear the "wah wah wah" off camera.)

Rachael has since turned up in some favored alternative comedy shows such as Party Down, Funny or Die Presents, and Childrens Hospital. She is currently attached to the Mike O'Malley, Rob Huebel Fox pilot Family Album. (Fingers are crossed that this is ordered to series.)

Harris, usually cute and acerbic, takes a slightly dramatic and dowdy turn in the upcoming feature Natural Selection. She portrays Linda White, a woman who connects with her dieing husband's illegitimate son. The film premieres at the South by Southwest Film Festival which kicks off next week. Here's a peek:

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Source: MTV.Com. Become a fan on Facebook.

Also showing at the SXSW Festival is Judd Apatow's latest film starring some funny ladies of television. Bridesmaids stars SNL's Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig, Mike and Molly's Melissa McCarthy, The Office's Ellie Kemper, and Reno 911's Wendy McLendon-Covey. It looks like the a ladies' version of The Hangover.

The Ladies who Breakfast

You might want to down some mimosas before you watch this. This is epic.

The Real Housewives of Late Night Returns!

If 2011 could end right now, I'd be fine. My biggest television wish for the new year has come true. The Real Housewives of Late Night premieres tonight on Fallon, and I can hardly wait to see what is going to go down. Will Yvonne and Denise make up? Or will they come to blows in the biggest wig fight television has ever seen? This is going to be better than "Dinner from Hell" from Bravo's Beverly Hills show. The only thing that could put this over the top is if the fabulous Lisa Vanderpump made a cameo with the Gig-ster.

EW.com just twitted their exclusive sneak peek at tonight's "episode" which is so new, I can't embed it . Check it out here!

Saturday Night Live: Remembering Rosanne Rosanna Danna

Her voice just came back into my head:

"Mr. Richard Feder of Fort Lee New Jersey writes in and says, 'Dear Rosanne Rosanna Danna,

Have you ever seen a UFO?

Do you believe we are not alone?

Did you see 'Star Wars'?'

Well, Mr. Feder, you ask a lot of stupid questions from someone from New Jersey..."

When I was in the 7th Grade, I'd make my friends at the cafeteria lunch table laugh at my impression of the frizzy haired, painfully frank and funny Rosanne Rosanna Danna. She was a creation of my hero Gilda Radner, whose ability to conjure that sweet wonder of a child in her characters captivated the child I was at the time, as well as millions of comedy fans around the world.

Back during the original cast of SNL, before a VCR entered my house, I'd use a tape recorder to audio record sketches off our old television set. (The TV looked like furniture. My father refused hung on to it for years, claiming, "I saw Neil Armstrong walk on the moon on that tube!") On Sunday mornings after a live SNL broadcast, I'd listen to those comedy gems and memorize them, much in the same way one memorizes a song. The sketches that still resonate in my brain are the Gilda's characters: Rosanne, Judy Miller, Lisa Loopner.

I can still recite 80% of the Weekend Update bit paraphrased started above. It continues. Rosanne goes on to talk about seeing what she thought was a UFO, but it was really a drive in movie theater screen off the side of the road showing a french porn film called "Le Sex Shack":

"Off to the side of the road, I saw he worlds biggest buttocks!

Two big cheeks dancing all over the expressway!

There it was! In living color...a rectal eclipse!

I thought I was gonna die!"

In 1979, when Gilda was riding high from her popularity on SNL, she took her bag of funny creations to the Winter Garden Theater on Broadway in her show, Gilda Live!. Produced by Lorne Michaels and cast with familiar SNL faces such as musical director Paul Schaffer and comedian Don Novello, it had a successful run, and was filmed as an HBO special that aired the following year.

Here's a clip from the Broadway show:



Gilda's fight against Ovarian Cancer is well documented, especially in her book, It's Always Something. In her incredibly brave fight against the disease, she helped launch Gilda's Club, a place for people fighting the illness to congregate, find solace and to live life. (Visit http://www.gildasclub.org/)

'Gilda Live' is immortalized on DVD for everyone to love today on Netflix., or to purchase on Amazon.

We lost Gilda in 1989. The world is all the more funny for having her in it.

Pee Wee Back on HBO

Mecca-lecca-high-mecca heiny ho! And so it shall be! Pee Wee Herman's Broadway Show has been taped for broadcast and ready for air on HBO March 19th.

If you're old enough to remember Paul Rueben's amazing Groundlings creation's original HBO special from 1981, then you'll understand - Pee Wee and his bevvy of friends (Miss Yvonne, Hammy, Jambi the Genie) can be a tad naughtier than what we've seen on the childrens' show that ensued. I hope the Broadway show gives us a little of that adult kind of fun, because The Pee Wee Herman Show is terrific with the vibe of a live audience being part of the experience.

Pee Wee Herman on Broadway! Here's a teaser:



Here's a taste of the original HBO show with a tribute to Sly and the Family Stone, plus a visit from the sorely missed pre-SNL Phil Hartman as the cantankerous Captain Karl:



HBO.com

Cinema Verite

Back in the early 1970's, PBS broke ground on a new form of documentary making that would become the precursor to reality television today. An American Family featured the daily lives of the Loud family. It was the first time a film crew followed a family or anyone on a day to day basis, allowing for drama to unfold naturally. It was especially interesting since the aesthetically "perfect" family from Santa Barbara, California were in the midst of facing the divorce of the parents, Bill and Pat Loud, and the revelation that their eldest son/sibling Lance was gay. (The show candidly revealed the first openly gay person on television.) It was controversial back in the day due to such mature themes and profound topics that tested the concept of family on the cusp of a new decade as the cultural, feminist and sexual revolution churned.

HBO Films has produced a fictionalized behind-the-scenes dramatization entitled Cinema Verite, starring James Gandofini, Diane Laine and Tim Robbins. It might not be an actual telling of what happened when the cameras weren't rolling, but it will show a new generation who were either too young or not yet born, how the concept of fly-on-the-wall documentary became MTV's The Real World or The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Cinema Verite will air in April.



Cinema Verite on HBO.

Opening Tonight: 'Threat Level Midnight'

Several years in the making, writer/director/actor/improv master Michael Scott's long awaited film Threat Level Midnight premieres on The Office tonight on NBC 9pm.

Although my interest in the show has waned, this looks fun.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Reality shows are rarely covered on this blog. However, there is a mushy spot open for the Housewives franchise on Bravo. The Housewives of New Jersey was a favorite. With hilarity culled from garish classlessness and dumb drama from the land of Soprano. But never has a Housewives series captivated me more than the sparkling, Restlin and Botox'd wonder that is the ladies of Beverly Hills. These wives are the real deal. They are the ground zero of extravagance, with the air of nothing better to do than participate in charity work and let petty arguments fester without breaking a nail or missing a facial appointment.

Housewives of Orange County? Camille Grammer has your "Housewives of the O.C". right here, baby, with her creepy famous husband and the evil psychic "side kick" Alison Dubois sucking her electronic cigarette, predicting when you're going to die. Taylor Armstrong's lantern jaw and trout pout quivering under the weight of her bad marriage will creep you out, while child stars/sisters Kyle and Kim Richards cry, hug, hate and let their family issues fester in fist fights in the backs of limos. It doesn't get better than that.

The show has already ended, but Bravo, in all their wisdom, has kept a few juicy clips off to the side for primetime specials, such as last week's "Lost Footage" episode, where we saw more into the troubles of horrible Camille Grammer, got more background from Lisa Vanderpump and her husband Ken on their acrimonious split with long time house guest Cedric aka The Human Tick, and sisters Kim and Kyle tried to make up from a devastating fight with subtext hinting at more family troubles than we'll ever know.

Last night, Bravo gave us extra footage of the aforementioned episode "Dinner Party from Hell". Camille spews her scorpion venom all over her dinner table as the poisonous Dubois drinks martinis fixed in a glass big enough to house a D-cup boob. This episode had everyone - viewers, bloggers, Gawker commenters - up in arms the day after it originally aired. It was insanity, definite fodder to feed into the guilty pleasure mill.

Chuck Lorre Vanity Card, #329

Let's face it. Sheen will out live us all.

Check out Two and a Half Men Executive Producer Chuck Lorre's vanity cards over a www.chucklorre.com. Read card #330. It's not hard to figure out who he's talking about. Pretty sad.

Comedy Central Announces First Annual 'Comedy Awards'

Comedy Central announced today their first annual Comedy Awards to be broadcast from the Hammersmith Ballroom in New York City on Saturday, March 26th.

Among the nominees are the usual suspects currently lauded on today's comedy television landscape. Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock, The Office, Modern Family...blah blah blah. Not shabby, but nothing earth shattering. Where's Parks and Recreation? Community? How about Adult Swim's Delocated?

One refreshing turn is Childrens Hospital - nominated for Best Sketch/Alternative Comedy Series. If they're going to nominate Corddry's brilliant hospital drama spoof, I'm good.

Also, naughty Ricky Gervais, much maligned by the HFPA, but beloved by us, even got a nod.

See the nominees over at Comedy Central Insider.