Thursday, July 28, 2011

Two and a Half Men: The Kutcher Edition

As we all know, season nine of Two and a Half Men will be Sheen-less. With Ashton Kutcher as the new Malibu housemate, there's plenty of curiosity on how this new dynamic will work. Also, how will Charlie's absence be explained? Will Chuck Lorre have him die in a fiery accident on the Pacific Coast Highway? Or will Charlie travel to Borneo on vacation and be kidnapped by hot native women in skimpy bikinis, making him their sex slave until he dies? We'll all find out on September 19th on CBS.

Monday, July 25, 2011

How To Write for (Fun and) Profit

I'm a little late in posting this because I've been busy reading how I can sell out and make millions writing screenplays in Hollywood. I now have the tools that will make me bucket loads of cash, walk red carpets and develop a $2000 a day coke habit. Ok, make that alcoholism. And you can too! Watch Ben Garant and Tom Lennon's commercial above. And remember - you can suffer through re-writes, firings, hirings and arbitration! Know the hierarchy in studio parking! Find the best In-N-Out! Learn how to say "YES!" to the dumbest ideas! Listen. Now Go Read the Book. And Learn!

Looking Ahead to Fall Season 2011-2012

Slowly but surely I'm getting on board with the new fall season. One show I'm looking forward to is 2 Broke Girls on CBS. Starring Cat Dennings and Beth Behrs as two waitresses, one working class, the other upper class and down on her luck, it was created by Sex and the City's Michael Patrick King and comedian and Co-Executive Producer Whitney Cummings. There is an edge to this three camera comedy that seems to fit the vibe of CBS' Monday night lineup. It will follow another three camera sitcom How I Met Your Mother. This show was also a hot commodity, having been the subject of a bidding war won out by the CBS.

Cummings also had her own sitcom picked up by NBC - Whitney. As per the NBC Fall previews there is a lot of "Oh, that Whitney!", and "What will Whitney do now?" and "Oh kooky Whitney always stealing the thunder - even in a wedding!" Your mileage may vary, but it feels like the show is bringing comedy back 30 years...and not in M.A.S.H or All in the Family way.

Monday, July 18, 2011

'Breaking Bad' - Box Cutters Aren't Just For Boxes

See? It's not real. Look at those crazy Breaking Bad boys laughing in that picture above. Walter White and Jesse Pinkman are just fictional characters Vincent Gilligan concocted. So, last night's incredible, horrific season premiere was not real. Jesse is really Aaron Paul, a guy who is not a street criminal turned murderer with a heart calloused over by the many violent, gut explosive situations he's been through. He's really a cool, talented, Emmy Award winning actor who made a character turn from sniveling little drug dealer with family issues, into a raving, fucked up killer. Walter is really Emmy Award winning Bryan Cranston, the cool dad from Malcolm in the Middle, a funny man who booked roles as a weirdo (see weirdo dentist in Seinfeld, and weirdo neighbor in King of Queens) with a loving daughter who fainted during the Breaking Bad premiere screening during THAT scene. Giancarlo Esposito is a nice man and incredibly fine actor who just joined ABC's Once Upon A Time in a major recurring role. See? He's not really a cold, steely, terrifying, placid maniac who is the most frightening monster on Earth. He's really cool. I'd wager a guess that he only uses box cutters to open boxes, or one of those blister packs when he buys a new set of earphones.

And David Costabile will always be the ever faithful and sweet Doug, husband to Mel on Flight of the Conchords. He's not dead. Those lab notes aren't real.

See? It's all a fevered dream. And isn't going to pop a bullet in Gilligan in that photo above, and Cranston isn't going to burn a hole in his chest with an evil stare, telling him it's time to make the meth. No. They're going to head over to Craft Services in a minute.

Breaking Bad premiered last night, and it didn't skirt away from it's reputation of being bad ass, explosive television. Watch it on Sundays at 10pm. And wear a diaper.

Friday, July 15, 2011


NTSF: SD: SUV premieres on Thursday, July 21st at 12:15am on Adult Swim. (After Childrens' Hospital). Get ready to have your face blown off...ironically.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

63rd Annual Emmy Awards: Nominations Announcment

The 63rd Annual Emmy Awards will air on Sunday, September 18th at 8pm ET on Fox.

To All 'Mike & Molly' Naysayers...Mrs. Blankenship Kudos...Plimpton Nom...Parks & Rec...

For everyone who makes fun of Mike & Molly, listen up: Melissa McCarthy is awesome, and she was just nominated for an Emmy for Outstanding Actress in a Comedy Series - for a show everyone too-hip-for-the-room loves to make fun of. Congratulations to her!

Watch her find out about her nomination - as she announces her nomination! What?

And in other Emmy kudos, the incredible Martha Plimpton from the hilarious Fox series Raising Hope, also got a nomination for Outstanding Actress in a Comedy Series. Very well deserved. She is truly funny, quirky and wonderfully snarky on this show (alongside Cloris Leachman - also nominated for Outstanding Guest Starring Appearance in a Comedy Series).

And in a surprising, yet not really surprising twist - Randee Heller, who gaves us the irrepressible, cranky and once "hell cat" Mrs. Blankenship on Mad Men was nominated for Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series. If she doesn't win, I will be disappointed. As much as I like fellow Mets fan Julia Stiles and the other ladies in this category - Loretta Devine, Alfre Woodard, Joan Cusak and Cara Buono (who portrayed Faye on Mad Men) - I don't think the competition can measure up to Heller's fantastic performance. Heller went from attractive, relatively young woman, to dowdy 60's matron convincingly. Blakenship wasn't just a character, she was a force who shuffled off this mortal coil the same way she shuffled into Don Draper's office.

But you know what sucks on this Emmy nomination day? The snubbing of Nick Offerman as Ron Swanson. As someone on Gawker said earlier today and I'm paraphrasing: "I can live with this knowing that Ron Swanson would have hated to have been nominated."

However, great news for his show Parks and Recreation, grabbing its first Emmy Nomination in Best Comedy Series category. Even though NATAS' darling comedy of the century - Modern Family - will probably kick ass on September 18th, it's so good to see not only the most refreshing show on television get recognized, but one of its' stars, Amy Poehler, get an Outstanding Actress in a Comedy nomination as well. (The outstanding funny ladies in a comedy series category is brimming with talent. Tina Fey, Laura Linney, Martha and Melissa....a tough category indeed).

Oh, and Community was robbed. They deserve at least top writing credit for some creativity. Perhaps their quirky approach leaned a bit on the gimmicky side, and turned off some NATAS voters?

And finally, Glee? Really?

Full listing of Emmy nominations on NYTimes. com.